Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Inaugural 2013 football column: Presenting the Picks of the Weak

We've heard about football just about long enough.
More specifically, we've heard about people who play football doing things that aren't football.
Aaron Hernandez. Riley Cooper. Johnny Manziel.
Snap the damn ball already!
Somebody must've asked nicely and said "Please" because a couple nights ago all became right with the world ... 1st down and a long five months to go.
Spot the ball and let's go!
Like calling the right play, it's time for us to make the right calls and decide who wins and who loses in another intrepid -- or indecent, by October you won't be about to tell the difference -- edition of Picks of the Weak.
Come beginning of January and February, when we wonder where the time went, the biggest of the big games should look like this:
BCS Championship Game: Alabama 35, Georgia 27. (Congrats Bulldogs, since you don't lose the SEC title game you get the honor of losing the last BCS one.)
NFC Division champions: N.Y. Giants, Atlanta, Green Bay, Seattle. Wild cards: Washington, Carolina.
AFC Division champions: New England, Houston, Baltimore, Denver. Wild cards: Cincinnati, Indianapolis.
Super Bowl: Houston 26, Atlanta 17.
Rick Pedone, the voice of reason and the brain of senility, says:
Brian "Big Man" McBride says:
Pete "The Gators are Going to Win" Covino says:
Andrew "Flaming Spear" Sullivan says:
As for the first-week games that make us all look smart ...
Toledo at Florida (-21.5): Kickoff at noon. After the three hours of football that follow, don't remind the players they have 11 more games -- against Florida teams and the SEC. Gators by 23 pounds of sweat.
Alabama (-20) at Virginia Tech: No need to test that No. 1 ranking yet, right? Nick's kids by 21.
Georgia (-2) at Clemson: Aaron Murray. Taj Boyd. Two explosive offenses. Do we already have a Game of the Century of the Week? Yes, if Tigers could make a few stops. Bulldogs by 14.
LSU (-4) at TCU: Another nice game. When in doubt, take the SEC. Geaux Tigers by 7.
FSU (-10) at Pittsburgh: Sounds like the Gator Bowl. It's a conference game now. Get used to that. Noles by 9.
Baltimore at Denver, NFL opener: QB of the Year vs. QB of the Decade. I yield to the full career. Mannings by 7.
Last year: Regrettably, the results were buried in the consent agenda of one of my county commission meetings. Oh well.
Enjoy your pigskin, kids. Coming next week: the first 2013 Mighty News-Gazette Elite Eight. Or not.

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