Monday, January 23, 2012

Memo to Peyton: Make Brady and lil' Eli pay rent

Gut reactions from the AFC & NFC championship games:

  • Baltimore either plays like a world beater or an egg beater. Hard to know which is coming, but they threw everything at the Patriots and frankly deserved better, and I love Joe Flacco's grit. Would loved to have seen the Ravens in the Super Bowl.
  • Maybe Jim Harbaugh should have used Vernon Davis to return punts rather than Kyle Williams.
  • So ... Giants-Patriots. Do we really have to do this all over again?

At first I thought I'd do what I did 8 years ago when it was Carolina-New England ... dust off my bowling ball and roll some frames while I ignored the Super Bowl.  But since I can't avoid the next 2 weeks of the talking heads repeating the same story lines ad nauseum, skipping it would be like asking your buddy for the 18 cents to pay exact change at the store when you're paying with a 20.

The most popular of those storyies will be: The Rematch, Brady going for another ring in the home of his arch-nemesis, and Eli going for his 2nd in the home of his brother, and how that would give him 2 rings to Peyton's one.

Please hit me with a tire iron now.

The Patriots don't bother me so much; at the start of the year I had them winning the big game, over Green Bay. Those ferkin' Blue Blobs had to ruin it for me.

This isn't about any "I hate New York" sentiment. I feel jilted as a football fan. Green Bay and New Orleans were BY FAR the best teams in the NFC for the 4-month regular season. I should be rewarded by seeing them play for a title rather than a team that played their best over a 3-week period, or a San Fran team that got 6 games vs. the Cardinals, Rams and Seahawks.

Instead, last week was where Vince Lombardi divided by zero.

The Giants are in the playoffs soley because those around them soiled the bedsheets. If Dallas holds that 20-something point lead against Detroit or if Philadelphia had held on to double-digit 4th quarter leads at home against San Fran OR Arizona (that one just tore me up inside) the Giants would have been golfing by Jan. 9.

But if the Giants hadn't had their rash of injuries they'd be 12-4. If you think this team has 9-7 talent, you're crazy, I've heard three Giants fans tell me in different versions. But what was it that your former coach, Bill Parcells, used to say .... You are what your record says you are.

Eli Manning as a human being is another big problem for me. Remember when he got drafted and told the Chargers, who had the first pick, "Don't bother. I don't want to play for you, and my Daddy said I don't have to if I don't want to. I want to play in a bigger media market." He used his rookie clout to get San Diego to work a draft-day deal to the Giants. It's the same exact reason I would beat Kobe Bryant with the closest object possible if I ever met him -- he was drafted by the Charlotte Hornets out of high school but told them, um, no, I'm playing for the Lakers. Make it happen. (They should've traded him to the L.A. Clippers.)

Eli's a fraud. I hope he rots in Indianapolis and Tom Brady makes him looked like a smacked ass. Then again, Kobe has five NBA championships, so maybe these guys channel my hate for them into championship focus.

Dammit. So where is my bowling ball, anyway ...

Rest in peace, Joe Paterno. Don't let it disturb your afterlife that Gerry Sandusky and the Penn State Board of Regents worked in concert to kill you.

1 comment:

  1. So you hate Eli because 7 years ago he bitched and moaned his way out of San Diego... but you have no problems rooting for Michael "I killed dogs" Vick and Desean "Give me more money or I'll whine and bitch 10 times louder then Eli" Jackson? You sir are a hypocrite. And where was your whining and moaning about unqualified teams in the Super Bowl last year when the 10-6 Packers did THE EXACT SAME THING the Giants just did?


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