Reprinted with permission from the mind of the great wordsmith David Rode ...
Twas a night after Christmas and yay! It was cold!
A feeling that certainly never gets old
The kids were nestled all snug in their beds
They were sleeping alone, they had nothing to dread
For my kids, keeping warm would be a real cinch
But for me, I slept next to the Blanket Grinch
In the middle of the night, I arose with some clatter
Because I wanted to know just what was the matter
Then what to my wondering eyes should appear?
She had stolen my blankets, I was freezing my rear!
She was wrapped up in blankets from her head to her toe
She looked like a goddamn human burrito
I tried to reclaim them, before freezing like a stick
But the Grinch grabbed the blankets, and grabbed them up quick
Her eyes they were closed, because sleeping is good
Though it sounded as if she was sawing on wood
To take back these blankets would take some real work
But the Grinch is pregnant and I don't want to be a jerk
So I grabbed what I could and covered my nose
And rolling back over... I started to doze
But I heard the Grinch claim from her blankets so tight
"Sucks to be you... quit bitchin'... good night!"